horoscope after 15 minute date.
your formidable will, not to mention the almost unfair amounts of charm you have going for you, pretty much ensures that you get your way without having to raise a finger. Oh, okay — you might have to raise one finger.
I LOVE this!!! Dr. Phil has some great advice.
I am passing this on to you because it definitely works, and we could all
use a little more calmness in our lives. By following simple advice heard
on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace. Dr Phil proclaimed,
“The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have
started and have never finished.”
So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn’t
finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a
bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey’s Irish
Cream, a bottle of Kahula, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old
Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos and a box of
chocolates.
You have no idea how freaking good I feel.
Please pass this on to those whom you think might be in need of inner
peace.
off the wagon…
with my posse.
Last night Daniel Baldwin tried to convert me to the baptist religion and thought we should go to a meeting together. and I was just trying to figure out why this restaurant was so familiar to me. Then I remembered my first weekend in NY and it all made sense. or should I say, remembered ‘parts’ of that weekend. I focus again and hear daniel telling me I’m only as powerful as His prescence in my life, and no, he’s not talking about him but HIM.
How does shit like this happen to me? Aren’t I supposed to be doing something else this week? I wear the best dress of my life to impress someone at a party and he doesn’t show, and I end up on a set talking to a Baldwin about shared experiences…. ??? can that be right?
can I please just have a drink and a boyfriend and go home.
“It’s been so long my pussy has cobwebs!” -Kendra, Whiskey River
“Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.”
Rodney Dangerfield
“There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 500SL.”
Lynn Lavner
“Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation. The other eight are unimportant.”
George Burns
“Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.”
Sharon Stone
“Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.”
Tiger Woods
“My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.”
Jack Nicholson
“Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.”
Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn’t think Barbara had a sense of humor )
“Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.”
Robin Williams
“Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.”
Billy Crystal
“According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.”
Robert De Niro
“There’s a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what’s the problem?”
Dustin Hoffman
“There’s very little advice in men’s magazines, because men think, ‘I know what I’m doing. Just show me somebody naked’.”
Jerry Seinfeld
“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.”
Robin Williams
“It’s been so long since I’ve had sex, I’ve forgotten who ties up whom.”
Joan Rivers
“Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy.”
Steve Martin
” You don’t appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life.”
Elmo Phillips
” Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.”
Oscar Wilde
” It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.”
George Burns
One of the owners of the local restaurant Herby K’s was shot during an armed robbery Friday night, Shreveport police report.
Adrian Johngene “John” Bean Jr., 58, died early today at LSU Hospital.
Police responded to a 911 call about an armed robbery and shooting at the restaurant in the 1800 block of Pierre Avenue about 9:45 p.m. Friday.
Police patrol reports said a John Bean, born Oct. 20, 1947, was shot in the robbery and taken to LSU Hospital. Hospital supervisors did not have a John Bean on their rolls but did report treating Adrian Bean, with the same birth date, and that Bean died of his wounds shortly before 1 a.m. Caddo District Court marriage records show Adrian Johngene Bean Jr. married to Janet Kaye Thrasher Busi, who is shown in Louisiana Secretary of State records as the current owner of Herby K’s.
Gary Hines, a waiter and cook at Herby K’s, said he heard Bean and a man wrestling and walked out of the kitchen. Hines said he saw the man — who was wearing all black and a black mask — shoot Bean in the lower abdomen.
“Then, he just let go,” Hines, 42, said. Bean appeared to lose
consciousness.
A nurse and a doctor performed CPR on Bean, Hines said, and revived him.
The robber fled the restaurant through an alley, Hines said.
Police have made no arrests. The patrol report says the robber’s attire made it impossible to note any distinguishing characteristics.
This is the second violent murder to occur at the storied city eatery this decade.
The first happened in October 2004 when a popular restaurant worker, Kevin Shields, who lived in an apartment attached to the restaurant, allegedly was stabbed after hours by an acquaintance following an argument.
Shreveporter Carson Green, then 24, was arrested and has been indicted on charges of first-degree murder. He pleaded not guilty by reason of insanity. Prosecutors have said they plan to seek the death penalty in the case, which is now set for trial in Caddo District Court on Sept. 25 before Judge Leon Emanuel.
People with more information on the robbery and subsequent first-degree murder of Adrian Johngene “John” Bean Jr. should call police detectives at (318) 673-6955 or Shreveport Crime Stoppers at (318) 673-7373.
I and all my family extend our thoughts and prayers to the Bean family and restaurant employees. I know they treat their employees like members of their own family and I’m sure they are all devastated and scared. I’ll never be able to remember all the times I spent running around that restaurant with Racheal and her parents, the cooks sneaking us food and basically babysitting us, so we didn’t get burned by grease. Herby-K’s is a legend of a restaurant, one of the oldest in the city and home to the Shrimp Buster sandwich. Until I was five I thought shrimp were always flat; I did not know that I ate them that way because some cook smashed the shit out of them. This is a horrible day. another ripple of Katrina.
So, I was out to dinner tonight with a new girlfriend (not that kind, guys) and she is addament about people and their signs. ‘What sign are you? well, that explains this and that’ and blah blah blah. I have no idea what any of it means, and all my life when someone pointed it out I barely took heed. One of my sisters, Courtney, follows the stars. and every once in a while I wil get a random phone call from Courtney in Hawaii warning me to stay alert or keep smiling because the stars are aligning either for or against me at the moment. All I can do is belive her. I won’t. because I am just not convinced the stars know who I am, but I casually take heed for at least fifteen minutes.
When I was in high school I read my horoscope everyday because it was on the same page as the comics in the newspaper. and sure enough, everyday it was relevant. but then.. they all were really. because they’re so general. according to the Shreveport Times, I could be a Cancer, Pisces, or Taurus and still have a great Tuesday balancing my checkbook. and the way I smoke cancer is looking just fine.
But my friend Amy is leaning on me in an Asian Fusion restaurant about who I should and should not see because of when they were born. or why things have or have not worked out with men because of when they were born….
seriously? people buy this? is there any truth to it? sounds fuckin impossible…
so then how does some new friend who barely knows me or the stories of my exes nail us all on the head? What is it about mid February that makes me play patient and coy with emotions? And why are Taurus addament or Cancer hot?
I put the sushi down and try to counter, but I cant. they were.
fuck.
fucking signs. it has to be bullshit. because you could Say anything and make it true. I am stubborn and patient and coy and blunt.
‘when I want to be’ is the key.
huh? maybe? any opinions out there?
Please tell ten friends to tell ten today! The Breast Cancer site is having trouble getting enough people to click on their site daily to meet their quota of donating at least one free mammogram a day to an underprivileged woman. It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on “donating a mammogram” for free (pink window in the middle).
This doesn’t cost you a thing. Their corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate mammogram in exchange for advertising.
Here’s the web site! Pass it along to people you know. http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/
A Rough Draft of Shawn’s Imaginary Love Life by Shawn Randall
Category: Writing and Poetry
A Rough Draft of Shawn’s Imaginary Love Life
SCENE 1: THE BEGINNING
In the city that never sleeps
everyone dreams
Time flashing square in our
faces in a broad way.
In Forty seconds,
streets swept by
a million soles
pounding the pavement
a drum roll of beating hearts marching.
The first time I saw her.
She was getting hailed with
compliments by men
who confused her for a yellow cab.
Some even grabbing her arm
and trying to jump in a backseat conversation.
DIALOGUE
No I’m not going to Brooklyn
and you can not talk to me for a second.
Insert broken relationship SCENES 2 through 25
CUT TO:
SCENE 26
SUBTITLE: Stars Left Lovers Cross
You paraded into my bedroom
with an entourage of kisses to
undo the forget me knots in my stomach
your academy award-winning timid hello
convinced me for a moment that you were the victim.
Remember?
The envelope please.
The emotionless goodbye note you left
on the shattered windshield of my breath
that yanked the red carpet dreams of us sharing a royal life together.
Queen Boomerang has returned.
But you can park your Hollywood dreams
of a starring role in my arms
in the potholes you left in my heart.
I’ve
unpacked all the bags under my eyes
and discarded all the sleepless nights of wondering
why I wasn’t good enough.
I can’t do this anymore.
I no longer date tornadoes.
My feet remain underground
no longer get swept into the air.
The last time you touched down
my hopes were flooded
and my focus was evacuated.
I had to rebuild.
I took the stars out of my eyes
and put them in my back pocket so I can
see clearly.
Remove my number from revolving door of your digital rolodex.
Cause for you it’s out of order.
EXTERIOR
Beeping horn crescendos
outside my window
She tropical storms out my front
door.
THE END?
The heat has finally hit New York. and although I spend the whole winter despising living in such a cold city, and telling myself i do it because new york summers are so awesome, … heat makes me miss home.
I hate being an adult. sometimes I wish i could be more like other people my age, who have no worries. i’m not talkign about the spoiled brats who have no worries because mommy and daddy take care of them, but like other setists who are ou there doing the grind, trying desperately to make it,… yet dont feel the pain. dont get hurt every day they dont get to act. they seem so unconcerned. like, oh well, back to waiting tables. let me just wait tables this week and next week i’ll try to do something. dont they hurt? I feel so dissappointed everyday that i dont get to do something. and when in reality it is no ones fault, luck of the draw, i’m so inlcined to blame myself. I dont understand that either. how I cant impress myself. do other people feel proud of themselves?
I miss summerrs in Louisiana because it meant i had just finished school, accomplished another great year of studyign and impressing, and now I could reward myself. but adults dont get that.
especially if the adult is a broke ass bitch who cant by a vacation.
stay in school. like roger. cuz it really is the easy life.
